


Just Keep Waiting

by poppydogs



Series: Just Keep Waiting [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Daddy Issues, Gen, SHIELD Academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:54:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25660195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppydogs/pseuds/poppydogs
Summary: Fitz's past and how his father's absence played through it.
Relationships: Leo Fitz & Leo Fitz's Father, Leo Fitz & Leo Fitz's Mother, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Series: Just Keep Waiting [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091582
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. How long is soon?

One warm summer day on August 19 1987 a little boy named Leopold James Fitz was born and he was destined for great things. 

His father, on the other hand, Alistair Fitz, proved that even the greatest people on earth come from a rubbish past. 

* * *

By age 4 young Leopold was into everything. 

Water, colors, pencils. Monkeys. The telly, staplers, etc.

But it wasn’t until he was strapped down into his high chair one evening watching his father trying to fix an old broken computer that he realized what he loved the most. 

Seeing his father push random buttons and opening different tabs was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen in his life. 

Leo was alrighty known for his abnormal intelligence, with a reading level that is above the middle school level. So when the day came that his mum took him to the library, he came back with 5 different books all about robotics. 

* * *

By age 7 Leo teachers realized that he was gifted. 

His mum was happy and full of delight.

While his father raised his eyebrow and said, “gifted are you sure?”

No one knew why he even bothered questioning considering Leo's room hoarded metal scraps, tools, and many robotic books.

But Leo tried hard to impress his father, so he entered the school science contest. 

His project was a robotic claw that had a square base and a claw that can be controlled with a remote. 

Sure it seemed simple, but since most of the other students did plants, planets, and baking soda volcanos with a bristle board that their parents clearly helped with vs Fitz that had nothing more than the word “Robot” written in sharpie and the sketch to his design taped. 

So of course, he won. It was not a surprise.

Sadly his father never showed up, but that night after his mum took him out for ice cream he found his father passed out on the couch with a beer in his hand in front of the telly. So he left it on the mantel hoping his father would say something about it in the morning. 

By morning all his father said was, “good job” and left for work.

A week later he found his robot in the trash. When he asked his father why he threw it out he rolled his eyes and said, “it was a useless robot Leopold and it was blocking telly.”

He ended up yelling at his mum which resulted in her yelling at his father until he left that mid-evening and didn’t show up until afternoon tea the next day. Half sober, apparently he lost his job 2 days ago.

* * *

On December 17 1997 was the worst day ever for 10 years old Leo.

It was after midnight when he heard a thump coming from downstairs. Unable to sleep he walked downstairs only to find his dad putting his coat on. 

“Dad?”

His father looked scared for a moment but then went back to his static self, “Leopold.”

“Where are you going?”

“Out,” he said as he pulled up the zipper.

“Why do you need your suitcase?”

His father said nothing.

“When will you come back?” as his father opened the door

“Soon.”

And just before he steps out the door Leo asks, “can I come?”

“No.”

As he grabbed his suitcase and shut the door.

It had been 8 days 203 hours 11,780 minutes since his father left and the first Christmas without him.

He remembered he was at his aunt's house that day and he and his cousins were roughhousing when he overheard one of his aunt’s say, “it’s a good thing he left Linda. Alistair changed when he lost his job.”

Even though he hated it, Leo couldn’t help but agree. The house was quieter now and his father did drink more when he lost his job, leaving his mum going back to work as a high school English teacher trying to make ends meet.

He didn’t understand why his father left, but he thought of one reasoning.

“It’s my fault isn’t it.”

He said to his mum at tea.

“What is?”

“I’m the reason dad left,” as he looked into his empty teacup.

“Leo,” she said rubbing his shoulder. “Your father will come back soon.”

_Soon._

“It’s been ten days mum he’s never coming back.” Sliding his chair he walked to his bedroom and laid on his bed. 

He felt a tear hit his pillow and he can hear his father telling him, _“Boy’s don’t cry Leopold unless they're weak. Are you weak Leopold?”_

* * *

At age 12 Leo had separation issues. 

While most kids his age would be in middle school instead Leo ended up going to high school instead. After spending 1 month in middle school only to keep falling asleep bored. 

In the beginning, people would give him looks. Some even envied him. But that is when they realize their advantages to the intelligent but lonely Leo.

It started out simple when Jill asked him to help her with the math homework and then later Dylan asked him to be partners for a history project.

Both of them saying, “because we’re friends Leo that’s why.”

But when the semester ended and the projects were finished, they would leave Leo just like an empty can of pop. 

_Just like my father,_ he thinks as he walks home that afternoon, only to find it empty and alone.

* * *

When he was 16 life felt better, his father's disappearance stopped glooming over his family and he got his Ph.D. in engineering.

But even with a degree he still was too young to work a job, so that left him to his own devices in the morning until his mum comes home, only to find her son still working on his newest creation and not quite understanding what it does. 

It was like that for 3 months until a letter came in the mail from “S.H.I.E.L.D Science and Technology.” 

He was apprehensive at first but he agreed to take the entrance exam and interview, leading to another letter telling him he got in. 

Leo was used to being the youngest at school until a cute brown haired girl stood in front of him and he was shocked at how young she is.

“Jemma Simmons,” she said.

“Leo Fitz,” he said unsure what to do. _“Should I say something else?” “Do I offer her the seat next to me?”_

But it was too late and she ended up walking away. But thankfully she was in a few of his other classes and he knew he had to be friends with her or be alone. 

He tried very hard for her to notice him, whether it was answering all the questions or trying to get the highest mark in the class. He can’t remember a time he was trying to impress someone.

 _“Your father,”_ he thought but he shook his head and answered the next question before Simmons did.

The semester ended with Simmons getting the highest grade and Fitz friendless. 

But maybe miracles do exist, ‘cause his second-semester chem lab he studied the piece of paper hanging on the door for his lab partner only to find “Simmons” next to his.

Silently walking, fear swarmed in his stomach and he feared he's going to puke out his cereal by the time he sat down. 

"Hello," she said 

"Hi," he said shyly. "I'm Fitz.”

“I know,” she said nodding her head.

_Of course, she knows your name you twit._

Already embarrassed, Fitz looked at the materials in front of him and the professor’s order on the board. 

Surprisingly he and Simmons worked fine even without having to make too many comments to each other. But after he added the final chemical disappointment filled him. It didn’t work.

_Great, I just messed up in front of Simmons. Now she’s probably going to ask for a new partner._

But before he could say anything, Simmons just added a bit of Sulfur when the reaction happened. Sitting there feeling useless he stares at the clock only to see he still has half an hour of class.

When the professor leaves Fitz could only say the first thing that comes to mind, “sorry.”

Simmons looked at him funny, “sorry for what.”

“For being useless.” 

_For not being able to impress you._

“Wait a minute,” she said gripping his shoulder and for some reason, he found it comforting. “You're not at all useless, I don’t think I ever work with someone that I work _this_ well with. What makes you think that?”

Staring into her eyes Fitz felt a sense of longing with Simmons then he did with anyone else.

For the first time in 6 years, Fitz finally talks about his dad.


	2. A Million Questions

From that Fitz life went on. He had Simmons by his side to help overcome his challenges. Until the two of them started being agents for S.H.I.E.L.D was when trouble came. 

He was 28 with hypoxia when Simmons left to see her parents. After 3 weeks Fitz was going to scream. He tried to talk to Coulson but the conversation was a mess. 

_“Coulson I... I… Simm… ons… I wa.. aa… he..pp”_

It was getting worse and his mental health was terrible. But all Coulson did was give him more projects and Fitz didn’t even know if he could do it. 

Soon he could hear his father's voice interrupting his thoughts. _“Leopold my useless weak son, why can’t you do anything right?”_

The voices in his head were too unbearable to the point he had to think of something better, someone calmer. 

_“Fitz don’t give up now. I know you can do it.”_ A soothing British voice came into his head and slowly Fitz went back to work. 

Imaginary Simmons did everything he wanted. Phrase him, soothed him, and she even loved him.

But when Simmons came back it was hard to go back to normal, he didn’t know if he could handle working with her and he’s not sure how he feels about her. But in reality, he needed her to help keep the voice in his head quiet.

* * *

When Fitz was 30 Jemma Simmons was his everything.

Until Holden Radcliffe built an android.

No, Fitz wasn’t into the android but he did feel something while he and Radcliffe built AIDA or watch sports while drinking beers.

To Fitz, he saw Radcliffe as a fatherly figure that he always wanted.

Which is why Radcliffe's betrayal was hard on him. 

Unlike his father, Fitz had AIDA head, and the scientist in him desperately wanted answers in hopes he can get Radcliffe back. But as the saying goes, “the less you know the happier you are.”

Once Radcliffe was arrested Filz felt hurt and then a thought came into his head one night in bed.

“What would have happened if my dad said yes, Jemma?”

“What?” Jemma said into his neck half asleep.

“My dad, what do you think would have happened if he agreed to take me with him?”

“Fitz,” she said quietly. “I don’t know. Maybe it would have been good or maybe it would have been bad. There are many possibly Fitz and many different scenarios with infinite outcomes.” Touching the side of his face, Jemma looks into his eyes and can see a million different thoughts running through him, “why you ask? Do you not like your life as it already is?”

Fitz widened his eyes and shook his head, “no, no I’m fine with my life.” And then kiss her temple, “It’s just a silly night thought.”

Fitz remembered that night, it was full of bliss and untapped emotions. And it was like that for a few days until the framework.

* * *

To most people would have seen the framework as a dream but to Fitz, it felt real.

_It was midnight when Fitz heard a thump in his room. Opening his eyes he found his dad holding a suitcase and a backpack as he stuffed clothes in each of them._

_“Dad?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Why are you packing?”_

_“Because we're leaving Leopold.”_

_“But what about mum?”_

_“She’ll be fine on her own,” as he zips up the backpack._

_“When are we coming back?”_

_“Never, now come with me, Leopold.”_

_Rising out of bed he took his father's hand._

_They spend the next few weeks in a motel. The first week his mum called and called wondering where her son is._

_By the tenth call, Leo said, “maybe we should tell mum where we are.”_

_His dad scuffs and took another shot of whiskey, “Leo what did we discuss about being a weak-link?”_

_“That it would get you nowhere.”_

_“Exactly,” he said after finishing his drink and lying down on his bed. “Now I have an interview tomorrow so goodnight son.”_

_“Wait, dad.”_

_“Yes?”_

_“What’s the name of the company you applied to.”_

_“Some tech companies called Hydra.”_

_While everything felt different, there were still things that still were the same._

_He remembered going to high school early but had the ego of a self-entitled person._

_He remembered a boy named Felix who made fun of him for being a “gifted know it all” Leo ended up punching him._

_Leo smiled when that happened and enjoyed watching the poor boy suffer in pain._

_But even though he was in trouble his father said nothing and patted him on the back. Soon Leo was inventing things that would only create torture like exploding prosthetic eyeballs or guns that shoot electricity. Either way, torture was evolved._

_Meanwhile, his dad was getting promoted and soon they were insanely rich. So rich that it was easy for Leo to get into the academy._

_He remembered that day. 16 years old Leo sat down, but soon enough a cute brown haired girl came to sit next to him. Turning his head to look at her he felt a need to instantly know her without any reason once so ever._

_“Leopold,” he said, sticking his hand out.”_

_“Ophelia,” she said as she shook his hand._

_And before you can say ‘encyclopedia’ Leopold and Ophelia became partners in everything._

_Ophelia loved Leopold's ideas of torture and pain and Leopold loved not being alone and always having someone by his side._

_Soon they graduated and Alistair took Fitz under his wing while Ophelia became the director._

_There was no surprise that Leopold had a thing for the director, so that night he went up to her office and told her._

_“Ophelia I was thinking that we can be more than just friends and I was hoping I can take you on a date?”_

_While most women would have been shocked or running up to Leopold and kissing him. All Ophelia did was smirk and kiss his cheek._

_"That sounds lovely Leopold, how about Chinese?”_

_“Oh, actually I was thinking Italian…” But Ophelia kissed him and Leopold agreed on Chinese._

_And every day since then whenever Leopold didn’t agree with Ophelia she would kiss him and then make him do it. They rarely did anything then work and Leopold just kept loving her no matter what Ophelia wanted._

_Until Jemma Simmons happened and day by day Ophelia was getting more infuriated by her and even though he tried to help all Ophelia told him to do was work on a project looking glass. Feeling useless he went to his dad for advice but all he told him to do was so whatever Ophelia said._

_But it was hard to do anything with more Inhumans to kill, his love broke her spine and everything was out of whack. That was until he overheard his dad die on the phone. Pain, anger lace through him as he stares at his dead dad. Soon Jemma Simmons blood was all Leopold Fitz was after now._

_Little did he know that everything that 30 years old Leopold has been through as all been a lie._

* * *

Waking up Fitz went through a lot, whether it was Ophelia or the team trying to save him through a burnt down base he eventually found himself in a containment pod with Jemma as the two of them cried. 

“Well on the bright side,” Jemma said. “At least you know the answer.”

“Yeah,” Fitz said as grief washed over him. 


	3. History Doesn't Repeat Twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 7x11

“Fitz are you sure you want to do this?” Jemma said over the phone as 35 years old Fitz sat in the parking lot of a pub. 

“Jemma, we said it ourselves, we’re going to spend time doing things that we wish we did. Do I need to remind you of that plant exhibition again?”

Fitz can hear Jemma scowling against the phone, “it was a rare tropical plant that only blooms every 100 years Fitz only a fool would miss it.”

“So that meant standing there for 2 hours waiting when we could have been looking at the monkeys instead?”

“Oh sod off Fitz you weren’t…” but before Jemma can finish her sentence Fitz watches a heavy man with salt and pepper hair walk into the pub. 

He thought back to the time his father called his mum because he was too drunk to get back home himself. 

“Jemma I should get going.”

“Alright. Just… Just be careful okay?”

“It’s going to be fine love, I’ll be home soon.”

Stepping outside, Fitz shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked at the cloudy mid-evening.

It was an average size pub with its dim lighting and everything being made out of wood as the TV at the bar - where his father was - showed the game.

_It’s going to be fine, just stick to the plan._

As he walks Fitz's heart keeps beating faster until he taps the back of his father.

Fitz's breath hitched as strong blue eyes stared at him with fear and recognition, “Leopold.”

“Father,” unsure what to say Fitz went back to his plan, “You know Radcliffe?” His father nodded his head shocked by how well his son aged, “well he told me that he met you a few years ago with something to tell me and… and I just wanted to know.”

Alistair got up as he patted Fitz on the back, “let’s talk outside, alright?”

Fitz nodded as the two of them walked into the cool Scottish air and an uncomfortable silence was drawn between them.

After a while Fitz finally said something. “How have you been?” 

“Good,” as he pulled a ciggy out of his pocket and tried to offer one to Fitz. He denied.

“Ah, well that’s good,” as he takes a puff.

After finishing his smoke and Fitz's patience started lowing Alistair finally addressed the elephant in the room.

“Look, son, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he said putting a hand on his shoulder. “But I had no choice. You and your mum were fine on your own, I was only doing what’s best for you.”

Fitz scrunched his eyebrows.

_Best for you._

_BEST. FOR. YOU._

_After twenty years that’s all you have to say?_

“What do you mean you ‘didn’t have a choice’ you did have a choice and choose to run.”

“Leopold.”

“Don’t,” he said sticking a finger in his face. “Twenty years dad, twenty years and you didn’t even bother to do anything about it.”

“Son it was for the best.” He said again calmly. “It was hard. Jobs weren’t hiring, Linda wasn’t being paid that much and soon leaving was just easier and better. And wasn’t it better Leopold.” He said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “One day Leopold you will understand.”

Narrowing his eyes, Fitz glared at his father and Alistair nodded, “I see.” He said quietly, “do you want to talk about him?”

“It’s a she, actually,” as he looked at the ground. “And she’s not easy.” He chuckled, “A few weeks ago we were at the zoo to look at a plant. She cried for an hour due to boredom and was irritated the whole day.”

Alistair grunted as if he was trying to say, “ _I know where she gets it from.”_

But Fitz moved on, “she’s smart but she still messes up her addition and subtraction, and sometimes she would say things that would absolutely make zero sense.”

Alistair nodded his head, “well that’s children for you.” He chuckles.

“Look,” Fitz said, shifting his feet. “I’m not mad anymore, I just… I get why you left but, dad, but me and mum we would have helped you. We would have done everything to fix up your life, so I just want to know. Why weren’t we good enough?”

Alistair was quiet and from all the years of studying facial expressions, Fitz can see the look of regret and shame on his face and Fitz thought that was enough of an apology from him. 

Fitz was about to go when Alistair called him, “son I just want to tell you that my reason for leaving wasn’t because of you.”Fitz nodded and Alistair pursed his lips, “I feel like you deserve to know that.” As he walked back inside.

* * *

Driving back to the motel Fitz sign as he got his phone out and called Jemma, as he laid down on the bed he heard the phone pick up.

“Dad?” 

Chuckling softly Fitz smiled, “yeah monkey, it’s dad.”

“When are you coming home?”

“Tomorrow I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest I'm dyslexic so sorry if this is bad.


End file.
